There has been quite a few times where I’ve gone out and overhear guys telling girls ridiculous tales of grandeur about themselves. Yes, you know what I’m talking about. Guys who proclaim that they are Mixed Martial Arts fighters. It’s sickening and it’s an insult to real fighters everywhere. It’s a pick-up line, it’s a way to make themselves sound cool, and some girls dig it. It’s easy to understand why they do it because most girls don’t know what the hell that is. For all they know an MMA fighter is someone who slays dragons and battle swamp beasts. There’s nothing more hyper-masculine than being an MMA fighter, so of course posers throw that title around like it’s a hot Apple rumor.
99.99% percent of the time those guys who tell you they’re MMA fighters are lying through their teeth. Ladies, I urge you. The next time a guy approaches you and says, “Hi, I’m Eduardo, and I’m an MMA fighter.” Call Bullshit! Ask him what weight class he fights in, when was his last fight, when’s his next one, and who’s he fighting? If he takes more than three seconds to definitively answer one of those questions then he’s probably just a douche bag poser.
Just as equally bad as lying about being an MMA fighter is trying to dress and act like one. You’ve seen them all over town. The same muscle head guys who wear Baby Gap-sized Affliction and Tapout t-shirts. Real MMA fighters don’t wear Affliction or Tapout shirts. They just wear normal clothes like everyone else. They only wear that douche-y clothing during pre and post fight events because of sponsorship obligations. Curling 200 lbs and wearing the latest poop smeared apparel doesn’t make you look like an MMA fighter, it just makes you a douche with a gay shirt that watched one too many episodes of The Jersey Shore.
So how do you know if you’re an MMA fighter? You get paid, whether it’s through a fight promotion or a sponsor, for stepping in a cage or ring for a sanctioned fight, and all the money you make from fighting is more than 50% of your yearly salary then you can consider yourself an MMA fighter. Working at Orchard Supply and going to Bob’s Taekwondo Academy every Wednesday nights doesn’t make you an MMA fighter. Neither does getting paid $50 to fight your friend’s drunk uncle at a BBQ.